Let's see...

I haven't been keeping up with this AT ALL. The city has been eating up all my opportunities to sit, relax and blog. Life's been nothing but an up hill battle lately. I know it'll all be worth it in the end though. I'm enjoying the struggle, the challenge and the constant on-the-go lifestyle New York City has forced me into. I know God's brought me here for a reason and I'm here to fulfill the desires of my heart. I feel like I should be typing up a novel exposing everything crazy that's been going on in my life but that'd take a couple days. In short, I love my new life here in NYC and I couldn't ask for anything more. God is good, all the time and he's brought nothing but peace in my heart. I'm exactly where I need to be. Thank you God.

Sunday 11/8/2009

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deed, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.

1st Timothy 6:6-10, 17-19

He reached down from on high and
Took hold of me;
He drew me out of deep waters.
He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
From my foes, who were too strong for me.
They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
But the Lord was my support.
He brought me out into a spacious place;
He rescued me because he delighted in me.
Psalm 18: 16-19

Jeremiah 29: 11-14

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord,
plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you
hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and
come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
I will be found by you.

Aesop Rock - Daylight

These lyrics stood out to me in this song:



"Life's not a bitch, life is a beautiful woman, you only call her a bitch because she won't let you get that pussy. Maybe she didn't feel ya'll shared any similar interests, or maybe you're just an asshole who couldn't sweet talk the princess."

A lot of the mainstream rap songs these days go on bashing and degrading women. This verse here, though a little explicit, just reminds me there ARE rappers out there sending a positive view of women. That women are BEAUTIFUL, deserve to be respected and not all of us put it all out there.



Then comes rapper Drake- "Baby you're my everything, you're all I ever wanted. We can do it real big, bigger than you ever done it. You the fuckin' best, you the fuckin' best..." FINALLY! Just what the rap game needed! A fresh face with a fresh attitude. He has the ability to create a catchy tune putting out something that doesn't belittle women. I'd rather have my little cousins growing up on "you the you the best" over "drop and gimmie 50" ANY DAY. I look forward to what Drake has in store! I know he's just going up from here.

Happiness-

Ephesians 4:23
Be constantly renewed in the spirit of your mind.

Having a fresh and mental spiritual attitude. Face adversity and move through it. I need to remind myself of this everyday. FOR ME, the key to happiness isn't measured by the good things that happen to me on a daily basis. The key to my happiness is being able to look above the negativity and celebrating the wins in my life. To celebrate the fact that I have a steady job, that I'm healthy after getting into 2 accidents within 4 months, that my mom STILL nags me at 22 and that she does it because she loves me. During the times I'm down I have to remind myself it's up to me to rise above the situation and I'm able to do all this through Christ who strengthens me.

GREAT READS!

A WOLF AT THE TABLE-
This book is a memoir based on Augusten Burrough's father. His demented father. It was an interesting read and being that he's one of my favorite author's I had to read it! I've read all his books and this was #2 following 'Running With Scissors' for being his most engrossing/twisted/chilling novels. A good read if you're into the psychological aspect of the human personality.


THE 25th HOUR-
ONE OF MY favorite books EVER! Each chapter just engulfed into the life of this man who has 25 hours left until he spends 7 years in jail. It's crazy how David Benioff can get you to relate to each and every one of the characters in this novel- even though they're fictitious! I COULD NOT STOP READING it once I started it! LOVED IT. LOVE LOVE LOVE DAVID BENIOFF!

Poor Red Rolla

7.21.2009 @ 1:20 PM

My 2nd accident within 4 months. Ridiculous. Neither accident was my fault but both are still causing me a lot of pain. I know with the right treatment I'll be okay and I thank GOD I'm alive. I THANK GOD that the woman who caused the accident was okay. She decided to take an illegal left turn when she was supposed to be yielding and caused an almost head on collision. Somehow I had the most damage to my front end and driver's side-- so bad to point where I had to get out of my passenger's side to actually get OUT of my car. ONCE AGAIN, despite the agonizing pain I'm feeling right now I thank the Lord above because those damages are minimal compares to what the other car looked like. God had his hands over me today.

On a side note- that picture that taken by my BlackBerry Bold camera phone! Tell me that's not CLEAR?! Chyeeaahhhhhh

Random Cute Story

A 5th grade school teacher told her students it is impossible for a whale to swallow a human due to the anatomy of their throats. One of the students then tells the teacher that Jonah from the Bible was swallowed by a whale. The teacher continued to tell the student that it is IMPOSSIBLE that a whale could physically swallow a human being.

"Well, I'll ask Jonah when I'm in heaven." - student
"How do you know Jonah is in heaven? And if Jonah went to hell?"
- teacher
"Then YOU can ask him." -student

I dream alive with my eyes open wide.

God is good!

The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him.
Lamentations 3:25

I am officially a student @ SAE Institute NYC! I was accepted into the Audio Technology Program and am on my way to living MY dream career. I received a voice mail and immediately called back @ 9:15 AM today to hear the good news. This is all so surreal to me! I would not be where I am today without GOD. I also can't forget about the SELECT FEW that stood by me from the VERY beginning and believed in me. God's lead me up to this and prepared me along the way. He paved the way for me and lead me to a new beginning. For anybody out there who has ever felt like God isn't answering their prayers I am telling you to WAIT. WAIT PATIENTLY, have faith and pray every chance you get. God listens to our desires and I believe he put them in our hearts for a reason. THROUGH CHRIST ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!

I'm out of here in October to embark on a new journey!

RIP Michael Jackson

I am the Lord your God
who teaches you what is best for you
who directs you in the way you should go.
Isaiah 48:17

"Do not be afraid Abraham.
I am your shield
your very great reward."
Genesis 15:1

Delight yourself in the Lord
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
A righteous man may have many troubles
but the Lord delivers him from them all.
He protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken.
Psalm 34:18-20

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WHERE TO START? I haven't updated in a while! I've been working, going to the chiropractor, working out, going out with friends and just got back from an amazing trip to NYC. Life's been good. God's been good to me. I have amazing friends and family that remind me how blessed I am.

The death of MJ has got me a little messed up these last few days. When I heard the news I was at work. I just kept refreshing CNN.COM to see if it was actually confirmed. All I kept hearing were rumors for about an hour. Then, it was confirmed. It didn't hit me though. I got into my car and drove home. The whole way, every radio station played a Michael Jackson song. It was the moment I heard 'Billie Jean' that my eyes began to water as I sang along to one of my all time favorite songs. It still hurts my heart. My cousins and I watched the Thriller VHS so many times that my Uncle Melton had threw it off his balconey. My 85 year old korean grandmother will sing "You are not alone, I am here with you..." and she speaks no english. Michael Jackson is my favorite artist and always will be. Music speaks no language and has no barriers! God blessed Michael Jackson with the amazing ability to touch people with his music and use his God-given talent to express himself. He motivates me to reach the desires of my heart and to seek what God has for me. God is good! All the time.

MJ ALL DAY

My favorite video of all time.

Tested

God's been really testing my patience this week.

A co-worker pushed my buttons the wrong way for the past couple days, the parents and I just on the wrong page, arguing with my sister, certain "friends" giving me negative feedback and WOW! What an intense 3 days. I'm just feeling all this stress and frustration all at once! I know God's there and he's not going to give me more than I can handle. I THANK GOD for not giving me more than I can handle.

I'm off to Boston and NYC in a couple weeks! Hawai'i for labor day weekend in Seattle and ATL during the last week September. I'm looking forward to these next couple months and am so thankful that God has blessed me with opportunities.

I really wish I could be with Ava in Germany during her pregnancy and after! I so want to be there! AVA- I MISS YOU SO MUCH! :(

Psalm 85: 12
O Lord Almighty,
blessed is the man who trusts in you.

Psalm 86: 7
In the day of my trouble I will call to you, for you will answer me.

Hold My Heart

I've been so afraid, afraid to close my eyes
So much can slip away before I say goodbye.
But if there's no other way, I'm done asking why.
Cuz I'm on my knees, begging You to turn to me
I'm on my knees, Father will you run to me?

One tear in the driving rain,
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breakin' heart?
One light, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Won't You come close and hold my heart.

So many questions without answers, Your promises remain
I can't sleep but I'll take my chances to hear You call my name
To hear You call my name

- Tenth Avenue North

Getting closer...

to my dreams.

July 2nd, 2009 is my interview and entrance exam. It's in God's hands!

Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream.
Jeremiah 17:7-8

SONGS that stay stuck in my head-

1. Ice Cream Paint Job - Dorrough
2. Turn My Swag On - Soulja Boy
3. I Know You Want Me - Pitbull
4. Man of The Year - Drake feat. Lil' Wayne
5. Come Over - Estelle

why are these songs so catchy?

You live and learn.

Throughout my 22 years of living there are lot of things I've learned to live by. I have a lot more to learn and I'm thoughtfully embracing it all as it comes my way.

First and foremost, never let a friend borrow money with the expectations of getting it back. Always lend money and don't expect it back. After all, if your friend is in need of money and you have the funds to do them a favor then leave it at that. Money and friends don't mix-- that is why you give, don't expect it back and you won't be put in a sticky situation.

Don't vacation with friends who don't have the funds to vacate. I've traveled with a LOT of different friends-- close ones and mere acquaintances. When vacationing you have to purchase a plan ticket, book the hotel and reserve a rental car if needed. It's usually easiest if one person does all of the planning and books everything. I'm usually appointed this position because I like to plan trips! Although, when friends want to pay you back later as oppose to before the trip things get a little frustrating. It's like... if you're planning to drive to Canada (or where ever) you would put gas in before you went right? Because chances are you aren't going to make it on an empty gas tank. Same concept with traveling-- pay up before you head out.

to be continued...

Amber Rose-

I don't care what anybody says this beezy is bangin'! SHE A BAD BAD BISH. I absolutely LOVE her style and the way she can pull of ANYTHING-- even the fade! HOW many girls can pull of a bleach blonde fade and still rock it? Close to none. Her style is sofa king fierce! My new woman crush! And I want those red American Apparel leggings-- BAD. LOL

City of Thieves - By: David Benioff

SUCH A GOOD BOOK! This author is able to blend the struggles of World War II along with humor creating an absolute thrilling read. I found myself so engaged in the book I couldn't put it down. The book is witty, devestating and funny all at the same time. His ability to describe everything with detail made me feel as if I were actually there during that time period. I can't begin to describe how much I enjoyed this book. I'll probably end up reading it about 50 more times. READ IT!

Overjoyed

If you've ever been in a position where you feel like God's not listening- he is. I'm only human and I get discouraged, I feel like giving up but I don't because I know he has a plan for me. When one door closes another one opens. God gives and takes away! I don't think there are enough words to express the amount of love and joy that I'm feeling right now at this very second. I've been through some DIFFICULT situations in my short 22 years of living and I believe you can't enjoy the good without the bad. And when I say I'm in love I'm only falling more and more in love with the man upstairs. I know I'm rambling but the next time I'm going through tough times I can just look back and remember why I've been holding on for so long.

I've said this time and time again but God has blessed me with THE BEST FRIENDS EVER. I don't know where I'd be without them.

I'm getting closer to my dreams.

Some musica that I'm currently diggin'...

- RICK ROSS' NEWEST ALBUM- DEEPER THAN RAP- GET IT!
- K Dot C4 - download his free mixtape here: http://www.myspace.com/kdottde
- Robin Thicke - Daydream
- Jim Jones - Pray IV Reign. I'm always on and off with Jim Jones. I'm on this one.
- Christelle Michelle - Ephiphany. GREAT SONG! She's on the rise.
- Drake - Room for Improvement. His first mixtape - I love it!
... I'll add more later. Off to the gym!

Good things comes to those who wait.

Romans 12:12
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

I always have to remind myself that what I want for myself may not be what God wants for me. And if things don't go the way I want it's because God has something better. This week's been really hard for me. I have a lot going with work, dealing with my attorney regarding my accident is a straight up PAIN. I thought hiring an attorney would give me a smooth ride but it's been the exact OPPOSITE and I still have to get my bumper fixed from the accident. On the bright side, my neck and shoulder feeling a lot better, I leave for LA and Vegas in 4 weeks, the weekend is 2 days away, I just ordered these shoes I really wanted AND they were on sale! Despite all the headaches life's good. I NEED to be more thankful, things could be a lot worse.

Just emptying my mind...

You know, I don't understand the logic some people have going on in their heads... Why is it that when a friend (certain friends) f*cks you over they flip the script and start acting shady? Then all off a sudden it's like you've done something wrong, rather then the friend who just pulled the rug from beneath you. What sense does that make? What ever happened to fessing up to your faults, apologizing and moving on? I don't get it. LOL. It's just weird. This all goes back to one of the blogs I have about pulling some weeds out of my life-- weeds being the friends that I don't need.

It's also hard for me to take advice from people who don't help themselves/take their own advice. Here's an overly exaggerated example-- a 500lbs person telling me to stop eating fast food and jump on a treadmill. O_o? Yeah. ha ha.

Lastly, I fall guilty to flaking. This is something I try hard not to do because I know how much it bothers me to be flaked upon. Or when someone takes interest in my dreams/goals and they hype it up like they want to take part and have interest in it-- then, do nothing. This is why I've started to keep these things to myself. I've never been dependent on anybody but myself and it's time I move on ALONE. Nobody's going to help me get to where I'm going but me. After all, I'm not going entirely by my lonesome... I have the man upstairs who's going to be by my side. His love never fails.

I didn't mean to come off bitter or upset in this blog. I just needed to empty some things I've had that were setting heavy on my mind. Love covers a multitude of sins - 1st Peter 4:8. Do not let love and faithfulness leave you; bind them to your neck. Write them on the tablet of your heart - Proverbs 3:3

Let's see...

I have been working out consistently since last Saturday. ha ha! I haven't seen any progress yet but I know it'll take time. The trainer said up to 30 days-- goodness! I am off to LA in about 3 weeks! I need that beach body. Feel me?

I got into a fender bender Saturday morning. Was rear ended while I was at a stop light and my neck is all messed up. I just thank GOD I am a live. Everyday.

God's been really testing my patience and faith this past week/month. I'm not in the mood to get into detail but I need him! Always. It's times like these that I need not to rely on God.

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Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5

A Men.

In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.

Proverbs 16:9

Boutique Hotels > Hotel Chains

The Custom Hotel. Los Angeles.


Suite


Outdoor Pool


Bar connected to the Outdoor Pool


fitness center - for women lol

Memorial weekend is coming up! which means I have a 3 days weeeeekend! HALLEJUAH. I'm going to visit my bestfriend Gee whom I haven't seen in a while and was looking into some hotels since a few friends of mine also want to come along with me. The Custom Hotel, SO modern. I love the decor! I've been researching hotels in NYC too and found the not only were boutique hotels cheaper than hotel chains but they were wayyyyy more SUPER COOL and the interior designs inside some of these hotels were absolutely STUNNING. Anyways, if we in fact do decide we need a hotel for the LA trip that's where we're going to book our stay!

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Replay on Esther's playlist-

Drake feat. Bun B & Lil Wayne - Uptown
Jay Z - Allure
A Tribe Called Quest - Word Play
The Pharcyde - Passing Me By
Gang Starr - Moment of Truth
James Morrison - The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore

Memorial Weekend-

Los Angeles :)

I haven't seen Gee in SO LONG! This will be a nice, SUNNY, mini-vacay. The weekend is finally here. HAPPY EASTER EVERYBODY!

LOVE LOVE LOVE

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8

If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. - Luke 6:32

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I can't count how many times the bible references the word LOVE.

I dealt with the MOST difficult person at work today. SERIOUSLY. The man went OFF on me. I've never had a stranger go off on me like that (never mess with people's money and healthcare haha). ANYWAYS, turns out he was misinformed and I happen to be the next person to be at his service. After he left I just wanted to pull my hair out and throw his renewal application in the shreddar, so that he'd have to do it again. I ended up venting to a friend through text and she replied, "you can do that or do what God would do. Pray for him." I'm telling ya... it's friends like her that keep me in check! He was probably having a worse day than my worst day. I'm tellin ya, I felt God was testing me at that very moment. Testing my patience. It definitely took an act of patience and LOVE to keep my cool during my meeting with him. God is good. The End.

A random post.

I don't like talking on the phone-- minus a few excepetions. Although, I do get text anxiety when someone doesn't respond to me back within a reasonable amount of time.

Orange juice tastes good while eating chocolate.

Allergy season has hit unusually late this year and oddly it's only effecting right eye ball.

I've seen more and more people walking their dogs in strollers. -_-

More and more people have also forgetten the phrase "thank you". I've opened about 5+ doors for people at work, handed a woman her hair clip after watching it fall out and offered to get coffee for my cube mate. Not once did I get a thank you. Not that I expect one but it'd be nice. Maybe it's just the people that work at Group Health that don't know common courtesy. ha ha.

Don't BUY ANYTHING ON CRAIGSLIST unless there is a photo attached to the posting. Today, I went to meet up with a fellow from craigslist to purchase a blackberry he had posted for sale. Turned out I knew the fellow from a mutual friend and he runs some kind of black-market-underground cell phone ring and tried to sell me a crusty, USED blackberry that still had someone's sim card in it. SMH.

I just heard the new song by Ciara and Justin Timberlake- Love, Sex and Magic. I think that Janet Jackson would've been more suitable for the song. I love Janet.

I Love Psalms.

In my distress I called to the Lord;
I cried to my God for help.
From his temple he heard my voice;
my cry came before him, into his ears.

Psalm 18:6


Though I walk in the midst of trouble,
you preserve my life;
you stretch out you hand against the
anger of my foes,
with your right hand your save me.
The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me;
your love, O Lord, endures forever--
do not abandon the words of your hands.

Psalm 138: 7-8

"There's no place like home..."

... or so they say. I just got back home from my nice little vacation in Atlanta and usually when arriving back home I feel a sense of comfort. This time around I came home to a different feeling. Although, I can't really put in words exactly how I was feeling. All I know is I think I'm ready to branch out, spread my wings, explore new territory and see what life (God) has to offer me elsewhere. I had a short conversation with a guest Pastor at Champion's Center (the church I attend) and she asked me what my plans were for my future-- it was really random that it was the first question she asked me. I told her that I knew I wanted to MOVE. She then asked what was stopping me. My reply was, what if that's not what God has planned for me? And she told me that God puts these desires in our hearts for a reason. Ever since we had that conversation a yearning in my heart for travel has been constant and I'm ready! It's just a matter of time and deliberation before I make my final decision. :)



Aside from that, my vacation to ATL was perfect! I couldn't have gone with a more perfect pair of friends-- Renee and Carissa are THEE BEST vacation partners!

A T L

March 24-29 - I'll be in Atlanta with Carissa and Renee. Two more days til I'm out!
I MISS YOU AVA!
http://twitter.com/HidingEsther - Twitter me!

I love SPRING!

I absolutely ADORE Chelsea Handler. I LOVE her sense of humor! I tried to purchase a ticket to her stand-up comedy show when she was in Seattle but seats were selling for $200+ a pop-- gatdayum! She's grown to be one of my favorite comedians and I watch her late night show religiously. This is a funny read for any of you who need a good laugh!

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SPRING CLEANING-
So, I'm sitting here starring at the mess in my room. They say that creative minds are more likely to have messy rooms and that organized people have too much time on their hands (aka people with no lives). Anyways, back to my messy room, I feel like I'm starring at some warped view of what has become of my somewhat adult life. My bible next to my pillows, shoes boxes in one corner, heels scattered across the wooden floor, clothes EVERYWHERE, stacks of TIME, SPIN and USWeekly magazines, my collection of books by Augusten Burrougs, a futuristic looking fan/heater that stands adjacent to my bed, bracelets and earrings all along my window ledge, a music stand for my violin music, notebooks filled with compositions- most unfinished and the double doors to my closet wide open to a whole nother world of mess (aka things that are of sentimental value to me). ha ha. I had an alert set up in my blackberry to pop-up so I could set aside this glorious Saturday for some serious Spring Cleaning. Instead, I'm sitting here thinking what's the point? Everything's just going to back to being a mess and the only reason why my room needs to be clean is for potential guests-- and so that I don't seem like this total slob. Which I'm not! lol. I'm just a busy, creative minded woman and I believe the "mess" represents an artistic view of my scatter-brain. Therefore, I will keep my room as is and if anybody wants to comment on the "mess" my response will be, "it's art". HAPPY SPRING EVERYONE!

Kid Cudi retires?

Apparently, Kid Cudi, has recently revealed plans to stop making music and focus on his acting career. His single Day N' Nite just starting making main stream radio stations out here. lol. Whether he chooses to continue on with acting or pursue music he's made a fan out of me! I'm lovin' his album and his sound's unique.

Cocaine Trade Helps Rebels Reignite War in Peru

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/18/world/americas/18peru.html?partner=rss&emc=rss
There's the direct link for article in the New York Times.

It's nearly impossible to find a coca (coca is the main ingredient found in cocaine) farmer here who admits that his crops are sold for anything other than traditional use, but somehow, studies have found, as much as 90 percent of the coca goes to produce cocaine.
- Simon Romero, New York Times.

“Human rights people say, ‘Some civilians have been killed, how horrible,’ ” Defense Minister Ántero Flores Aráoz said in an interview in Lima. As for Rosa Chávez Sihuincha, the pregnant woman killed in Río Seco, he suggested that she got what she deserved.

“What the hell was she doing in Vizcatán?” he said. “Was she praying the rosary? No way. Either she was transporting coca leaves for processing or she was taking chemical products or she was part of the logistics of this Shining Path group.”

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Keep on loving eachother as brothers. Do not forget to entertain strangers,
for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.

Remember those in prison as if you were their follow prisoners, and those
who are mistrated as if you yourselves were suffering.
- Hebrews 13:1-3

So Far Gone - Drake

I've been listening to this mix-tape for a few weeks now. Hip hop ain't dead. Lovin' the mixtape and I'm looking forward to his album that's supposed to drop in the next few months. He's on his rise to hip-hop stardom. He's making his way (has made his way) to the top of my favorites list. Good music like this gives me hope that hip-hop hasn't drowned its' way into the mainstream music world.

I love music.

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Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who
comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort
those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves
have received from God.
2nd Corinthians 1: 3-4

God's been good to me!

Don't have anything to do
with foolish and stupid arguments, because
you know they produce quarrels. And the
Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead,
he must be kind to everyone, able to each, not
resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently
instruct, in the hope that God will
grant them repentance leading them to a
knowledge of truth, and that they will
come to their senses and escape from the
trap of the devil, who has taken them
captive to do his will.

2 Timothy 1:11

Being a Designated Driver...

is a VERY important role. Though an important role it's not an easy one. I find that when being a designated driver (usually am) it not only takes a load of patience but one also needs to expect the unexpected. So, I've put together a list of rules and expectations necessary when being "DD".

PATIENCE IS KEY

- Though driving drunk is dangerous (never drive drunk) following directions from a back-seat drunk driver while they're swaying and slurring is even more dangerous. Therefore, a DD MUST have a good sense of direction (always know where the nearest fast-food joint is because drunk people love to eat). Be aware of your surroundings and know where you're going.

- BE PREPARED to pull over. Always be prepared to pull over. If your friend says they're "feeling sick" then pull the eff over! Then, be prepared to go outside, open the door and hold your friend's hair back (if they have hair) and pat their back while they're spewing. If you don't act quickly then be prepared to clean up after them (if you're nice) OR you can wait til the next morning (by then the vomit will be crusted dry) and have your hung-over friend clean it. Your choice.

- Be prepared to repeat yourself numerous times. Sober conversation is completely different from drunk conversation. A drunk friend has NO MEMORY and probably won't remember what you've said, even if you've said it about 5 times already. Oh, and speak LOUDLY. Speaking loud and slow helps in certain occasions.

- If you're lucky enough to be the DD with the friend who passes out in the car be prepared to park once you've reached your desired destination. This will require absolutely no work or in some cases getting out and assisting your friend to their door step-- sometimes their room. It depends how intoxicated your friend is at the time.

That's all I can think of for now. PATIENCE IS KEY. I put this together because I find that when certain friends are DD and experience being sober around drunk friends they never want to do it again. Like I said, it's not an easy role! lol. It might be that I have a high level of patience or that I'm just immune to being assigned the position as DD-- nevertheless, WE ALL LOVE OUR FRIENDS and being the designated driver is just something that goes along with being a good friend. :)

My favorite reads -

A Million Little Pieces - James was an alcoholic for 10 years and a crack addict for 3, before he turned 23. He checks into rehab and it goes on about his road to recovery. GREAT BOOK. It was kind of slow in the beginning but was a good read!

A Piece of Cake -Cupcake Brown was a prostitute, alcoholic and crack addict all before the age of 13. I read this book about a year ago and have read it a total of 5 times since then. If you haven't read this book yet you need to. STAT. It was her faith in God that pulled her through the trials in her life to make her who she is today. It helps to renew my faith and remind me that God NEVER FAILS. EVER.

Beautiful Boy - By: David Sheff

"A Father's journey through his son's meth addiction" - THIS BOOK WAS SO GOOD. I encourage everybody to read it! I just finished it yesterday. I don't know what it is but I have this slight obsession with drug addiction recovery books. I think it's the struggle and reading about their ability to triumph from it. Appreciate life, love your neighbor and ALWAYS be thankful. God is GREAT.

Feelin' it.

Kid Cudi - Day N' Nite

Ya know... I had to contemplate for a little while on whether this was just a sick beat or if it was lyrically a good song too. I didn't have to think long, this song is the shit! It's different and I'm all about embracing NEW. It differs from the norm of today's mainstream rap, the beat is crazy and the lyrics flow. The lyrics make you think-- and I like songs with subliminal messages and meaning. It's good conscious rap. Lovin' it.

I'm a Jamie Foxx Fan.

Lovin' the video! Gotta love the guest appearances by Ron Howard, Forest Whitaker, Jake Gyllenhall and Samuel L. Jackson!

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Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.
1st Peter: 8-9

Difficult people.

We deal with difficult people everyday. Well, I deal with difficult people everyday. Especially now that I work for Group Health-- never mess with people's health and their money. For REAL. haha.
Anyways, it frustrates me to try and help a friend that asks me for help, but doesn't want to be helped. You just can't help people who don't help themselves-- I've learned this from experience. Not everybody that comes into your life will have good motives. I believe God puts difficult people in our lives for us to go through the proving grounds. To teach us tolerance and patience. So, show mercy towards others even when you're right, let God handle the difficult people and do it all in love-- it's easier said than done but it's just another step towards being selfless. And a step towards selflessness is just another step closer to God.

for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me.
- said Jesus
John 5: 30

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourself. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Philippians 2: 3-4

Jesus answered them, Most certainly I tell you, if you have faith, and don’t doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree, but even if you told this mountain, ‘Be taken up and cast into the sea,’ it would be done.
Matthew 21:21

ROASTED!

SO FUNNY. One of favorite scenes! For those of you who don't follow The Office... well... you're sluffin'! So sign onto nbc.com and watch the full length episodes from season 5 for free. HOLLER.

Happy VALENTINE's DAY!

The Urbandictionary.com definition of my name:

ESTHER

1. when a squirrel has buttsex with a frog
2. A female child molester. The female equivilant of Chester

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Today was a GLORIOUS DAY! I woke up, did the laundry, dishes, got an oil change for the rolla, waxed my eye brows and spent the day/afternoon downtown Seattle with my sister and am now finishing off my night with a facial. It was so sunny out! Just walking around in the city on a sunny day puts me in a stupendous mood! I shopped a little and treated my sister to PF Chang's. It totally slipped my mind that it was valentine's day and I kept wondering why there were nothing but couples seated around us. haha. There were couples EVERYWHERE. My day wasn't spent with my "love" but it was spent with my favorite person in the world.

:)

The BEST SHOW EVER.

Rule #17:
Don't turn your back on bears,
Men you have wronged,
Or turkies during mating season.

- Dwight

These are my obsessions...

When I like something I become unhealthily obsessed. This MAINLY pertains to songs, practicing a song on the piano that I REALLY NEED TO LEARN, new foods that capture my taste buds and Starbucks' tall iced vanilla lattes. haha. But yeah, if there's a new song and I like I can listen to it all day, everyday, non-stop for about 2 weeks or so. Anyways, here are my newest obsessions (for now):

- Marcy Playground - Sex and Candy
- Drake's new mixtape
- Rachmoninoff - Opus 23. No. 5
- James Morrison and his ENTIRE ALBUM. His new one.
- learning how to play the guitar
- Lenny Kravitz
- Rock Band
- Joey's ahi tuna tacos
- turkey bacon
- red nail polish
- Miguel - Sure thing
- Jamie Foxx feat. T-Pain - Blame it

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.
- 2 Peter: 5-7

"Whoever corrects a mocker invites insult;
whoever rebukes a wicked man incurs abuse.
Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you;
rebuke a wise man and he will love you.
Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still;
teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning."
Proverbs 9: 7-9

Back to the daily grind.

"For when I am weak, I am strong."

I started my new job on monday and my sleeping schedule is back to normal. I vacation to ATL in 46 days! (Yes, I would be counting down the days) My sister got me sick. Again. It feels good to be back on my grind.

Random Esther Ramble

- REVLON nail polish is the BEST. If you buy the non-chip clear over coat then you're SET. NO CHIPPING! You'll have salon looking nails and toes within the comforts of your own home. You just have to be really patient while painting your nails. Take SLOW strokes, do two coats and finish off with the clear non-ship coat. Badda bing badda boom - SALON NAILS. TRY IT. HOLLA.

- OnDemand COMCAST TV exercises are the truth.

- I had to take this bizarre personality test for work the other day. The end result showed I was at 99% for empathy- meaning, I have a high level of empathy for others. I don't remember the other results. I was more focused on my high points and empathy was up there. Cool.

- One of the questions on this bizarre test asked to put these 5 things in order. The most important being #1 and the least important #5 - I jotted this one down on a scratch piece of paper because it was absolutely off-the-wall. Anyways, here was my order:

#1. Saving an old woman from getting hit by a car in a grocery store parking lot.
#2. Getting an oil change.
#3. A used television.
#4. Smoking marijuana with friends during work hours.
#5. Being involved in an organized crime.

OKAY, SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT RELEVANCE ANY OF THESE HAVE WITH ONE ANOTHER. LIKE I SAID, BIZARRE TEST WITH WEIRD QUESTIONS.

- I've fallen into the Twilight craze and started reading the book today. Although, I refuse to watch the movie. I don't want it to deter the image I have of Edward Cullen in my head. He's supposed to be so beautiful it hurts and if they didn't cast somebody who is PAINFULLY BEAUTIFUL I WILL BE HIGHLY DISAPPOINTED!!! :)

- I was sitting in the guest room today watching tv and tinkering on the laptop when my dog Prince decides to pop a squat right in front of me! I should've taken more heed to his constant pacing and whimpering. hehe. He growled then popped a squat.

Thankful!

God answers prayers. :)

I love you.

Jamie Foxx - Intuition. Holla.

LOVE IT. EVERY SINGLE SONG ON THE ALBUM. I didn't hear too much hype when the album first came out. Actually, to my surprise, a lot of my friends didn't even know he came out with a new album! I like EVERY SINGLE SONG and that's a rarity for me. I wasn't sure if this album would match up to his 1st but it's better. I can't wait for the next! Get it if ya don't got it!

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SHOUT IT OUT:

- CONGRATULATIONS to JAE AND BLAKE! They are now parents to a newborn son! ♥

- My sister Celia. If there's anybody I can rely on no matter what it's my sister.

- AVA! I miss you so much. I want to go eat ipanema, thai hut 2's pad thai and try other new random restaurants. My best friend and foodie is so far from me!

- My twin and bestie in Boston! Renee, I'm so glad I met you. I know our friendship is going to continue and flourish from here on out. Can't wait to visit you!

- Lastly, I thank GOD everyday for providing me with faith and courage. Despite the hardtimes I've been experiencing the last couple weeks I've never been happier. It's easy to look at my situations and be sad-- but it takes courage to have the ability to look above the hardships and be HAPPY. Happiness is only found through God and I've learned this first-hand. They say you don't know God's all you need til he's all you have and it's the truth. He's all I need.

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So I say, "My splendor is gone and all that I had
hoped from the Lord."

I remember my affliction and my wandering,
and the bitterness and the gall.
I well remember them, and my soul is downcast
within me. Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:

Because of the Lord's great love we are not
consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your
faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."
The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seek him...

Lamentations 3: 18-25

In search for me, I discovered truth, in search for truth I discovered love, in search for love I discovered God and in God I have found everything...

Alice in Wonderland.

Was my favorite movie growing up as a child. Lewis Carroll, the author of Alice in Wonderland and the sequel, Into The Looking Glass, is a GENIUS. They say he wrote chapter 3 of Alice in Wonderland while on opium-- although, this rumor was never proved. True or not the movie is a trip. Even as a child I never fully captured what the movie was trying to convey. I was able to watch it recently and thought wow, the author had to have been on something.

I came across several different views on the underlying meaning of the book. There was one analysis I came across that stated the underlying message was: the life of a girl maturing away from home into a world of chaos. While embarking on this "journey of growth" she comes across trials and tribulations-- eh. That could be the author's REAL message but if you were to ask me I say that the entire story is based on drugs. The disney movie itself is colorful and full of inventive characters going through unimaginable scenes. It's what I'd picture an acid trip to be (I've never tried acid and never will) but one can only imagine what it'd be like.

The effects of drugs on the human brain has always been of interest to me. The word halluctions derives from the Latin meaning "to wanter mentally". There are 2 types of hallucinations - release hallucinations and those experienced by schizophernics. I learned in psychology that SIMILAR things occur in a brain hallucinating from drugs and a person with schizophernia disorder-- Now, that's a scary thought. So basically while you're hallucinating on drugs your brain is somewhat in a mental state. Weird. I got way off topic but yeah, Alice in Wonderland is definitely based on drugs. For heavens sake, the big catepillar smokes out of a huge pipe that looks strikingly similar to a hookah pipe-- the m'fka is smoking marijuana. No doubt. Nonetheless, this movie will always be on of my favorite movies. Whether it's really referencing to drugs or not. The end.

OBAMAMANIA

Two dozen guys at a Democratic Convention wore t-shirts that said- TRUTH THAT STANDS BEFORE US IS OBAMA.

People in Hempstead, New York changed the name of their elementary school after him.

One man told the Washington Post he hung around Obama's hotel "to be breathing the same air."

Ben and Jerry's is introducing Yes Pecan flavor in honor of Obama's campaign slogan.

Tourism is also getting a boost. A $40 bus ride will take you to see where Obama scooped ice cream during his teenage years in Hawai'i.

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I voted, followed the election and watched some of the inaugeration. History has been made! He's the first African American President in history. Some say he's an inspirational speaker and they're moved by his speeches-- Yeah, he's a good speaker as all presidents SHOULD BE but as far as being inspirational? What inspiration means to ME would be a whole nother blog. As of now it's all talk until I see that he's accomplished something for this country. The U.S. is in a recession and the unemployment rate is at its' highest. People with families to support are without jobs and they say it hasn't been this bad since 1945. It's 2009, history has been made (history also has a funny way of repeating itself through this recession), we have our first African American President and in the midst of all the Obama-hype this country is in turmoil. Action gives me satisfaction and talk is cheap. People are quick to declare his greatness BUT until I witness completion and progress in the economy
he's just another president to me.

Gotta have faith.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Herbrews 11:1

And without faith it is impossible to please God.
Hebrews 11:6

God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.
Herbrews 11:40

"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,
and do not lose heart when he
rebukes you,
because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."
Herbrews 12:5-6

I love my korean mother.

My mom tries to pick up up-to-date slang ALL the time.

Just the other day she used the word pimpin'. Surprisingly she used it in the correct context. She said, "Your cousin's new car is pimpin'". Being that korean is her first language there was an accent. So it sounded more like... "Your cou-jeen new cah eej peempin."

Just yesterday we were in the car on the way to do some shopping and we were discussing my aunt (her older sister's) choice of men. Ever since my aunt's divorce she's resorted to younger men. Cougar. Rawr. Hey, we all have different tastes right? I'm not hating but these younger men are questionable to me. Anyways, I was asking my mom WHY this 24 year old male insists that my aunt is the love of his life (my aunt is 52). Yeah. In my aunt's defense my mom says, "As long as she's happy it doesn't matter. And he is not a gold digger or looking for a sweet mother."-- sweet mother? It took me a while but sweet mother = suga mama. ha ha.
Gotta love it.

F R I E N D S

"Friends are family you choose for yourself."
- Author Unknown

Bad Company corrupts good character.
- 1st Corinthians 15:33

As iron sharpens iron so one man sharpens another.
- Proverbs 27:17

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I went to evening service at church today (well technically yesterday because today is now sunday and I went saturday night). Anyways, haha, the message latched onto me. Have you ever been to a church service and felt that the pastor's sermon was directed to YOU? Well, God was definitely speaking to me through the pastor last night. His sermon was about friends and the people that you choose to travel with you to your "tahiti". Tahiti is just a metaphor for... your future dream career, your kids' future (if you have any), the place you want your marriage to be-- basically, anywhere that YOU WANT to see yourself. And of course these people that are going to be traveling with your are going to be your FRIENDS.

Ahh... friends... I LOVE MY FRIENDS just as much as a I love my family. I feel that my friends have more of an influence on who I am today more so than my parents. Yeah, my parents raised me but my friends helped to mold who I am. If I consider you one of my CLOSE friends I'm going to give you my all. I'm going to be there for you, listen to you, encourage you and support your decisions. The pastor said something that really cleared a road block for me... he said, "be friendly but you don't have to let everybody into your inner circle". That's been a problem for me for a while. I'm quick to become friends with someone and if we fade away I really take it to heart. It's also hard for me to cut off friendships.

I forgot where I was going at with all this... it's 4:00 AM and I am tired. lol. Basically, the message last night really helped me. I have a vision of where I want to be at within a year-- with that said, I have some weeds to pull. Goodnight.

Best of the Best

GENO's cheesesteaks in Philly!




Obama ate here. I saw it on the news today and it was also in a national geographic magazine. :)




The best fried chicken. It was listed in USA Today, the Food Network and other random websites. I gotta try it.

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FOOD makes me HAPPY. I sound like a total piece of LARD. But you know what? I do not care! I like to eat, cook, eat what I cook, eat what others cook, try new restaurants, go back to favorite restaurants and experiment in the kitchen! They say the key to a man's heart is through his stomach-- if so, then I must be a man because the key to my heart is definitely through my stomach. Happy stomach = a happy Esther. When I travel researching good restaurants is always #1 or #2 on my list next to location of the hotel. I've vacationed in Hawai'i on Oahu and the girls and I stayed on Waikiki Beach- if you ever go I can tell you which restaurants to go to and which to stay away from lol. I REALLY WANT to try Geno's and Ben's Chili Bowl this year!
Yes, 2009 is the year of travel and good eats.

:)

When the going gets tough...

I delight in weaknesses, insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, I am strong.
2nd Corinthians 12:10

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness
2nd Corinthians 12:9

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"You'll never know God is all you need until he's all you have" - unknown

Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes, with your right hand you save me.

Psalm 138:7

And the journey continues...

2 0 0 9

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

My first blog of 2009...
I would dedicate this blog to recap and list memories of 2008 but there are too many to list. 2008 was a GREAT year. I was able to do a LOT of traveling. Countless trips to visit Gee and Chan in LA, spring break in Hawai'i, charted new grounds in Atlanta- more than once. Along with the travel, God introduced me to some AMAZING people that have made such a positive impact on my life. People that I've learned to love, build lasting relationships with and create unforgettable memories with. Nothing better than being surrounded by good people.

Along with the GREAT things were the struggles and no-so-good things. All were a learning experience and I'm thankful for those too. Cause without the bad I wouldn't be able to fully enjoy the good. 2009 is going to crazy. A good crazy. :)